My Dating Profile

Last updated March, 2025.

Since dating apps have such limited space, I've built this profile inspired by the concepts in Jillian Richardson's Mindful Dating course.

Age: 48
Sexuality/Gender: Gay cis male (he/him/his)
Location: I moved to Costa Rica part-time in 2021 and then full-time in 2022. I rent an apartment in San José and own a beach house in Playa Bejuco, Puntarenas. Previously, I lived in Denver (13 years), Chicago (3 years), NYC (4 years), and Michigan (23 years growing up and college).
Dependents: No offspring and no pets.
Stats: 5'11 and 215lbs (and working on getting under 200lbs), bald plus facial hair, brown eyes.

About you

You're also a single cis gay male. I tend to go for guys in their early 30s to late 40s but this isn't a hard and fast rule.

I'm looking for a guy who is independent, knows his purpose in life, and is serious about building an incredible life for himself but who would love a plus 1 on the journey.

I tend to be most attracted to guys who are creative and who can make me laugh, someone who can balance my serious side.

While ideally, my dream is to find a partner in Costa Rica, I'm open to guys living anywhere. I've done long-distance relationships before, and I'm happy to do it again for the right guy.

Guys who invest time in mental, spiritual and physical health are attractive. I work best with guys who are self-aware, intelligent, driven, adventurous, well-traveled, and outgoing. I think I'm happiest with a good mix of downtime at home and time spent out socializing – but I'm fine if you're a different mix and are open to compromise.

Since so much of my life is flexible, I need a guy who either has (or is working towards) the freedom to do what he wants with his time.

Significant financial debt is a dealbreaker.

You're either sober or consume alcohol/pot infrequently and responsibly. Drinking in excess and any other drug use is a dealbreaker.

In past relationships, it feels like I've done most of the chasing. I'm looking for someone who chases me as much as I chase him.

About me

When you pursue your path… pay careful attention to things that make you angry and get you all riled up and provoke you to say, Someone should do something about that!!! The someone may be you.
– Rob Bell in How to Be Here

Background

I'm a farm kid from the Midwest, a math and science nerd in high school, and a graduate of a small liberal arts college.

I found my way to Denver where I started, grew and then sold a web publishing software and services company. After a sabbatical, I helped to start an inclusive Christian church and served as its executive pastor and then co-founded a national non-profit to help other leaders start inclusive faith communities.

Wholeness

In my mid-40s, I'm reorienting myself to all aspects of health: spiritual, physical and mental.

I'm working on becoming physically healthier and in the process of losing about 20 pounds and gaining some more muscle. This isn't easy for me. And I'm working on becoming a decent cook to better fuel my health goals. This also isn't easy for me.

In 2020, I started practicing breathwork and meditation. In many ways, breathwork has changed my life but I promise I won't try to recruit you to the cult. I've done considerable amount of work with a therapist as well. My goals for second-half of life are to become increasingly resilient in all aspects.

I'm mostly sober but rarely partake in a drink (~once every 2-3 months).

I no longer consider myself a Christian but I still believe the teachings of Jesus are a pattern that we can learn from. I'm open to dating a guy from another faith tradition or no faith tradition, as long as he's done the work to integrate his faith/spirituality with his sexuality. Spiritually grounded and integrated guys are attractive to me.

Beauty/Design

My Instagram feed is primarily mid-century modern houses, artists, shipping container homes, furniture makers and designers (and cute pics of my nieces/nephews).

I love collecting art. My collection is a mix of prints I've purchased at street art festivals with bigger pieces from artists like Eyvind Earle, Jorge de la Torriente, and Ginny Herzog.

I can get lost in bookstores thumbing through random magazines like Monocle. I miss the days of encylopedias.

Adventure

Travel is a big part of my life. I've visited 47 states (Alaska, Hawaii and North Dakota are remaining). I've been to UK/Europe, Japan, Singapore, and Latin America and I have a very long list of places I want to visit.

I arrange my travel with a mix of fun/adventure, rest/downtime and work from the road. I'm equally at home exploring a random neighborhood in Budapest as I am sitting poolside with a new book at a resort in Mexico. I love trying new restaurants and finding the quirky spots in new places I'm visiting.

I recently bought a drone and love flying it around new places. I love long hikes in nature but dislike camping. Give me a comfy bed and air conditioning over a tent any day – I'm a Marriott Bonvoy Platinum member but love a good independent, boutique hotel.

I bungee jumped off the Macau Tower. It still terrifies me to this day, but I'd do it again.

Current and desired family structure

I'm fully single. I'm looking for monogamy. I strongly believe that couples need to navigate and build the family structure they both desire together. This includes lots of communication and defining monogamy for both in the couple. I'm not cut out for a poly relationship structure.

I have no kids. At my age, I've come to the conclusion that if I never have kids, I'll be happy. I'm open to dating single guys who already have kids, but I'm not interested in being an instant step-dad.

In the meantime, I have 2 biological nieces and 6 "chosen" nieces and nephews who all call me "Uncle Aaron." They're a big part of my life and I try to see them often.

Jasper, my beloved Beagle of 12 years, died in January, 2021. I'm a dog person and can tolerate cats. I hope to adopt another dog again.

What next?

If you feel like you fit my general "about you" (above) and like what you read about me, I'd love to hear from you. Shoot me an email or DM me on Instagram.

Thanks for reading my profile and happy dating!